To Be Or Not To Be

Published June 7, 2014 by konchk

092Even when I feel like my life is going downhill/crashing/doomed/all that Negative Nancy stuff, I would never change being me for the world. Everything that I sometimes feel the need to change is also what makes me proud to be me. I’m not perfect. And I know I never will be truly perfect, but I can take pride in having room to grow as a better person.

Sometimes I wish I was more tactful, and less like a crippled clown. I’m klutzy, unathletic, both shy and obnoxious at the wrong times, and a bit socially disinclined at moments…BUT I have a wicked, wacky sense of humor (at least I seem to think so).

At times I wish I had the same resources most people seem to have. Sometimes I wish my parents had money rolling out their sleeves, wasn’t such a broke college student, didn’t have to pay so many flipping bills, had a car, and lived my life as if it were a cake walk. BUT, I wouldn’t change any of this for a moment. Learning to work early and appreciating things and people in my life let me realize how my life is mine and my success is purely up to me. I don’t expect my life to be handed to me, and learn to accept the cards life deals me, as cheesy/strange as that sounds.

A lot.. I want to be a more “confident” person. I wish I could say no to people more often, voice my wants and needs, and fight when I feel wronged. BUT…over time, I learned that this isn’t all what confidence necessarily is. Being confident means accepting myself enough to be happy with what I have and being able to put other people’s needs above my own. Being confident means not feeling the need to voice my needs as often as others, because I know I can get what I need on my own. Being confident means knowing that if I’m wronged, I can let go because I understand my worth as a person.

Sometimes, I wish I was beautiful/hot/shmexy/gorgeous<– ALL of that good stuff. I’m a scrawny gal with hardly any curves. BUT, I’m cute enough. And I know that I’m not going to stay young forever, and would rather accept who I am now and work on stuff that people will notice more when I’m 90 something or other.

If any of you lovely people have the luck/pleasure/displeasure/curse of meeting me, you will def. see how imperfect I am…But…I dunno. I was going to come up with something clever and life-changing. Then realized I don’t really care.

Have a wonderful evening folks




One comment on “To Be Or Not To Be

  • Success is abstract. It totally depends upon your goals and expectations. Evaluate yourself and set realistic goals then you will keep achieving success.
    For me, confidence comes from my work and preparations. If I think I have given my 100%, I feel confident. πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

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