Even when I feel like my life is going downhill/crashing/doomed/all that Negative Nancy stuff, I would never change being me for the world. Everything that I sometimes feel the need to change is also what makes me proud to be me. I’m not perfect. And I know I never will be truly perfect, but I can take pride in having room to grow as a better person.
Sometimes I wish I was more tactful, and less like a crippled clown. I’m klutzy, unathletic, both shy and obnoxious at the wrong times, and a bit socially disinclined at moments…BUT I have a wicked, wacky sense of humor (at least I seem to think so).
At times I wish I had the same resources most people seem to have. Sometimes I wish my parents had money rolling out their sleeves, wasn’t such a broke college student, didn’t have to pay so many flipping bills, had a car, and lived my life as if it were a cake walk. BUT, I wouldn’t change any of this for a moment. Learning to work early and appreciating things and people in my life let me realize how my life is mine and my success is purely up to me. I don’t expect my life to be handed to me, and learn to accept the cards life deals me, as cheesy/strange as that sounds.
A lot.. I want to be a more “confident” person. I wish I could say no to people more often, voice my wants and needs, and fight when I feel wronged. BUT…over time, I learned that this isn’t all what confidence necessarily is. Being confident means accepting myself enough to be happy with what I have and being able to put other people’s needs above my own. Being confident means not feeling the need to voice my needs as often as others, because I know I can get what I need on my own. Being confident means knowing that if I’m wronged, I can let go because I understand my worth as a person.
Sometimes, I wish I was beautiful/hot/shmexy/gorgeous<– ALL of that good stuff. I’m a scrawny gal with hardly any curves. BUT, I’m cute enough. And I know that I’m not going to stay young forever, and would rather accept who I am now and work on stuff that people will notice more when I’m 90 something or other.
If any of you lovely people have the luck/pleasure/displeasure/curse of meeting me, you will def. see how imperfect I am…But…I dunno. I was going to come up with something clever and life-changing. Then realized I don’t really care.
Have a wonderful evening folks